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Dating

Dating Tips To Find Your Soulmate

Posted by musicman on

If you are like most of the population, you may think that love is something that happens by chance. One day, you will fall on your alter ego like magic. It will be love at first sight then you will live happily and have lots of kids.

Unfortunately, in real life, it is rare that people find love in this way. Success in dating and love is no different from success in any other field. Some men may be more willing to succeed than others but their success is by no means a coincidence.

They achieve their objectives because of a willingness to adopt the right state of mind (neither idealistic nor pessimistic, just realistic). They made the right decisions and adopted the right actions. No result is the result of chance, everything has a cause.

Most events, successes or failures may be thought of as chance but oftentimes they are the result of your actions. If you want to meet and seduce the girl of your dreams, find great love with her and feel fulfilled, then it’s time to know what are the right actions to do and get to work.

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Find real love

To find love and feel fulfilled in a romantic relationship, you will have to adopt several strategies. Determine the right partner and seek her actively (rather than waiting for her to come to you miraculously). There is no alter ego. It is a myth that comes straight from Plato’s work: “The Banquet”, which has passed through the centuries. In reality, there are women who are more or less compatible with you, your expectations and standards.

No woman is perfectly made for you, No woman will ever be perfect for you, you must accept it. It is important not to wait for perfection, otherwise, you will never feel satisfied in your relationship. All women have defects. If you’re hoping for the perfect woman, you will go on the unicorn hunt.

Instead, you must look for a woman who meets your standards and expectations. Have a clear vision of what you want and once again, we do not fall in love by chance. You fall in love with a woman for her qualities, most often, her beauty and her personality.

Love, to be brief, is an emotion. Or rather an alloy of emotion that one feels for a woman and in her presence. Just as several atoms make up the molecule, many emotions form this even greater and powerful sensation: Love. But no emotion comes by chance either (principle of causality). We feel every emotion – we get angry, vexed, sad, happy, stressed, relieved for a reason or a series of reasons.

You must know yourself, know what makes the ground conducive to feeling very attached to a woman in the relationship. Establish your standards and expectations based on that. These standards and expectations can change from man to man, so rather than telling you what to look for in a woman, you should conduct an introspection.

Yo have to feel the attraction to a high degree to feel emotionally invested in a relationship. The attraction is (for the man as for the woman), one of the essential atoms, which compose the molecule of the love. There is no true love without attraction.

Also, they must have a sufficiently attractive personality: enthusiastic, dynamic, positive and sensual. You should fall under the charm of their personality and beauty.

Establish your standards and expectations

What you should be doing right now is start thinking about the qualities of a woman that make you feel particularly good with her, and the flaws you want to avoid at any cost in a partner. Be ambitious while remaining realistic.

Now that you have a clear picture of the kind of woman with whom you can have the fulfilling relationship you desire, now is the time to actively seek her. The more women you meet or date, the more likely you are to meet a girl who is compatible with your expectations and standards.

Quantitative opens the way to the qualitative. One of the biggest mistakes men make is to believe that this girl is going to introduce herself one day. As if by magic. Women can believe in this kind of myth because they have a relatively passive role in seduction; it is seldom they who take the first step. And even without making any effort to provoke meetings, a lot of men will want to meet them.

But a man cannot afford to remain inactive if he is ambitious. A passive man, as a rule, will make very few encounters. And if the girl he hopes to meet represents less than one percent of the female population, his chances are low.

So, you must actively engage in prospecting and online dating. Select one (or more) means of meeting women. Today, there are many ways to meet women. You can meet women in your direct social circle. It may seem like a more natural and spontaneous way of meeting. That said, you must regularly go to parties, birthdays, barbecues, etc., organized by your friends.

Another, even faster way is to ask a friend to play the matchmaker and introduce you to a single woman she knows. It’s a more direct way to meeting and dating women within your social circle.

Approach and get to know them

It may not please you, but you will have to approach a lot of women. And probably also have to seduce many before finding the right one. On the other hand, do not expect to find the right candidate the first time. It’s a filtering process. In other words, you will have to approach several women before finding one interested to be seduced by you – that is to say, attracted by you plus willing to meet you (dating).

You will have to seduce several interested women before finding one that really meets your criteria. Because, most often, their qualities and their defects will not be revealed immediately, during the process of seduction.

No matter how much time you take to evaluate it before starting a relationship – you will evaluate it under the banner of a contender or potential partner. As long as you have not immersed yourself in a relationship (even a mere bond of a few weeks), you absolutely cannot know the true worth of a woman as a partner.

You can only know when you have a relationship with her (dating). This means that you will sometimes have to break the relationship after a few weeks. It will be difficult but better sooner than later before she gets attached to you and you feel connected to the wrong person.

Dating

Dating After A Divorce

Posted by musicman on

Dating is not always fun, especially if you are starting again after a divorce. Dating after a divorce is particularly difficult as for one, you are most likely older and haven’t dated in a while; for two, you likely have a lot of emotional baggage you are carrying with you from your marriage and how it ended. Getting back into the dating world can seem overwhelming, especially if your marriage was a long one.

Things change, and the dating world has definitely evolved over the years. What used to happen when two people met in person now takes place online over the internet. Internet dating seems to the way to meet people these days, and if you are having trouble meeting people the old-fashioned way, it might be time to give it a try.

Emotional Baggage

When any long-term relationship ends, it is difficult.

When a marriage ends, it can be extremely stressful as there is the emotional strain, grief over the ended relationship, the strain on children, and the dividing of assets. While we’ve all heard the term ‘mutual breakup’, it doesn’t happen all that often that after a long-term relationship, both people are mutually happy to part ways. When it does, it is the best thing for everyone, but when a marriage ends, it is most often the cause of one person giving up before the other, and that can result in a lot of hurt feelings.

Emotional baggage refers to the challenges and experiences learned from an earlier relationship that trickles down into subsequent ones. After a divorce, it is difficult to date someone new.

Chances are, you had been with your spouse for a long period of time. You learned the ins and outs of communication, how you fought, how you made up, and that was that. When you are exploring another person, they may have completely different habits, especially regarding communication. It can be difficult to separate the one person from the other. For example, if in your marriage, conflict meant nothing but hurt feelings with little resolution, you likely got used to shutting down emotionally, rather than hashing it out and moving on.

This is a challenge in a new relationship, as one person shuts down as that is what they have always done, and the other wants and needs to communicate and work things through. Adjusting to the new person you are dating and how they communicate and handle conflict is key to success in dating after a divorce.

Re-Gaining a Sense of Self

Another challenge with dating after a divorce is that, often, partners lose themselves in their unhealthy marriage. They may have tried to be something or someone they are not in order to please their partner, or they may have just buried their former self in the misery and sadness of an unfulfilling marriage.

Either way, losing oneself is an unfortunate consequence of divorce, and finding oneself again can be a journey that takes time.

When it comes to trying to cultivate a true sense of self after a divorce, it really boils down to looking at who you’ve always been, before you were married and throughout. If you had hobbies that seemed to fall by the wayside during your marriage, especially in a busy family with children, now is the time to explore them and help them lead you back to your true self. If you lost touch with friends during your marriage, that is another fantastic way to build yourself up. Remind yourself that a marriage is not the only fulfilling relationship out there; relationships and connections with people of all kinds can help fill the void of an ended marriage and help you move forward in a positive way.

Making time for yourself and the things you love is the ultimate form of self-care.

This can be a huge challenge if you have come out of a marriage and are now a single parent, but children benefit the most from seeing you happy, so taking that time for yourself, no matter how rarely is something that should not be neglected or undervalued.

Making Physical Changes

This may seem like a simplistic one, but sometimes making some physical changes after a divorce can help you feel like you are entering a new phase of life, rather than focusing on the end of another. Healthy changes can make you feel more confident, and looking and feeling your best, of course, is attractive, so if you are interested in getting back into the dating world, change can be a good thing.

Start with exercising. Not only will it be great for your overall health, but those positive endorphins are also powerful allies against the depression and anxiety that often accompanies a divorce. Exercising for as little as 20 minutes a day has proven benefits to mood, weight, blood pressure, and overall feelings of well-being.

The more you start to see these results, the more you will likely exercise. This is a positive cycle to get into, and when you are rejoining the dating world, looking and feeling your best can only help you connect with people.

Other positive physical changes might be making a change to your wardrobe or a change in hairstyle. If there is something you’ve always wanted to do physically but didn’t, now is the time. Get that haircut you always envy others.

Buy some new clothes to give you some much-deserved confidence, get that tattoo or piercing you’ve always wanted. Feeling good about yourself can sometimes come with taking the initiative to make a change that tells yourself and the world that you are more than worth the effort.

Online Dating

When it comes to dating after a divorce in the digital age, you will likely get pressured to try online dating.

Check into the sites you are considering as some are little more than random hook-up sites. If that is what you are looking for, enjoy, but do it safely. If you are more interested in a healthy long-term relationship, make sure any sites you are on are for people looking for the same thing.

When it comes to dating after a divorce, it will be a process for many. Shedding emotional baggage, exploring who you are, and making some positive physical changes can really help get you on the right path to finding a new and healthy relationship.

The key is to try and look ahead instead of behind; this is especially difficult if you did not want your marriage to end, but in time, you might see that if the other person didn’t want you, then it wasn’t right, to begin with.